When I was young, I used to see my female class fellows getting opportunities because of their accent and attire. I couldn’t digest it at that time but I also didn’t understand why it was happening so I tried fitting in.

I tried to speak English more fluently. Sometimes I used to do things which the inner me never endorsed like listening to loud music, laughing loud, making fun of others, spending money just to show that we were not poor. Eventually I gave up on that. I stopped fitting in. I stopped spending money when I was not supposed to. I knew saving was right.

Being myself was right. I did it. Either I had people who were entirely against me or there were ones who were friends with me. I was good with that. By that time I didn’t know it was okay to have both of them. I thought there was something less in me that’s why people disliked me.

As time passed, I realised I had a lot to make them insecure. That’s why I was being disliked by the insecure ones. They were afraid of me and I was finding a deficiency in my personality…. I grew up with these two groups. One who behaved like fans and admired me in everything, and the ones who pretended that I was not enough.

It took a lot of time and energy to understand this simple fact, that I was enough.

When I entered professional life, I witnessed the same thing. My female colleagues were praised for their English, their financial background, their spending habits and their attire. By that time I knew I had a group already being inspired by me and my work. I stayed who I was; simple, grounded, low profile. But this choice was hard to make. Choosing myself was difficult. I paid the price of staying true to myself. I was paid less, I was expected to work for free, I was not invited to fancy events, I was supposed to work back stage, I was not given pay raises, I was not given market competitive salary, I was not given the title I deserved but everyone knew I was good at my job. That is why I was given tasks no one else could do.

I was tested, I passed, I proved myself, but never got that appreciation anymore. I started appreciating myself. I started feeling sorry for people who didn’t have the courage to appreciate others. It’s okay to have two kinds of people around you. One that admires your work and the one who is afraid to admire you.

All you need to know is you are worth it. You have it all. You should not be afraid to be yourself. Opportunities will come, you will get what you deserve but you will always have two kinds of people around you. If you are genuine, you will never be liked by everyone. Don’t try to fit in just to please them.

Be proud of yourself.

Because you were always enough!

Dr. Huma Ehsan