Leaving a Place

Too much time passes between writing. I write all the time, in my head. I spin ideas and craft thoughts into longer pieces but sitting and placing the words on paper takes time. It seems only when truly it feels as though I may break into pieces because the words are getting too numerous in my head, that I sit and write.

Although still sitting in my office for summer school, it really isn't my office any longer. To my right are five plastic totes holding the contents of what used to be my office. In August I start a new journey, at a different place and admittedly I am feeling torn. I am leaving a place.

My six years at my current school have not all been pleasant. Personally and professionally I have been tested and challenged. I didn't always feel seen and didn't always feel I had a place. It was hard to determine why I felt "placeless". In fact, during this feeling of "placelessness" I stumbled into #WomenEd.

I found a place with other women who were driven to build an inclusive network and community of leaders, looking to increase representation of women in leadership. With #WomenEd I felt seen and valued. Whether it was the confidence I found or that was uncovered through my affiliation with #WomenEd, I started feeling seen in my place at work.

Feeling seen in a place grows community and a sense of belonging. When I feel seen and safe in a place, I can be braver and move the work forward in a good way. I can be who I am, strong, yet vulnerable and be accepted and celebrated. The place that I am leaving has become my community and it is hard to leave.

When we become who we were intended to be, and in a place we have come to love, moving on seems implausible. Why would anyone leave a place like this? It was entirely possible for me to stay, be content, continue to do good work. I am however, a learning and growing creature and in very metaphoric terms, a gardener. I planted seeds in my current place and now must leave them for others to tend. In a sense this is a way for leaders to build agency, capacity and efficacy in others. It is also a way for leaders to continue to grow themselves.

I am grateful to the colleagues I leave. I am grateful to #WomenEd, and in particular, to the GSL group, Vivienne, Keziah, Liz, Parm, Jules, Natasha, who have invited me along for the incredible journey. These folks have shaped me and given me room to find myself and my place.

My hope is that everyone finds their place.